Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize