chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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