My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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