We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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