I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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