I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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