The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
