He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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