What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
