So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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