I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
