There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
