I could have mohawked her pubes.
Fuck appropriateness.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
