I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
