I feel great
I just peed on a car
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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