She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize