Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
