I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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