I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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