you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
