She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
