i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
