I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sarcasm needs its own font
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
PANTIES FOUND
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