Midget sex pt 2 tonight
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Randomize
