I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
that may or may not have been my penis.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
