y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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