I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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