Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
