By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
