So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
