would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize