Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
