just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
