what if every blade of grass was a penis?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
