You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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