I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
