So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
