do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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