Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
