"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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