Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
