Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
