so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
