just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
