I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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