"it" just moved
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
