my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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