I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
