i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize