If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
