you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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