3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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