Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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