Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
