I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
