Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
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I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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