Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
