im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
