some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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