the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
