bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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