just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
"it" just moved
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
