I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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