thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
