Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
