he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
