Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
