the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
