We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I wear drunk well.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
